‘I left my husband to be a sugar baby’

The first time I had sugar daddies, I was in my early 20s.

I was exclusively dating women so I never had sex with any of them. They would take me out, wine and dine me and take me home.

They liked the idea of the challenge: “If I spend enough on you and take you to the fanciest restaurant, maybe you will want to sleep with me”.

I didn’t.

For more stories like this, go to bodyandsoul.com.au

RELATED: Escort reveals what turns men on

Now I’m 32 and have up to 10 sugar daddies at a time

This time around, I got into it because I left my husband after he had an affair. Suddenly I was on a single income with double the bills. We were officially divorced in August and I started seeing sugar daddies in September.

I wouldn’t disclose this sort of information to my ex-husband, but he would probably be shocked since lack of sex life was one of the issues in the marriage.

I currently have nine sugar daddies. That’s nine if you take away the one I lost yesterday because he wanted an exclusive relationship, proper dating and to eventually settle down. That’s not what I am after and he knew that from the beginning.

They say they don’t want a relationship then suddenly they do and that just makes things awkward because it changes the dynamics.

One is 28, another is my age, 32, my favourite is 50, and there is one who lives near me but doesn’t want to meet me who is in his 60s. He sent me Uber Eats for dinner last night.

For different men, being a sugar daddy means different things

Some of them just want company, some of them I’ve never met in person, but generally speaking, it means money and gifts in exchange for sex – but it’s not just root and boot.

These are not men who can’t get attention or sex from other people, they are just men who have finetuned exactly what they want and it’s not the kind of relationship that will just land in their lap.

They have to go specifically searching for it. One in particular is really attractive, smart and wealthy and he just wants texting and the intimacy of a relationship while we are physically together, but he doesn’t want to have to worry when we are not together. A real relationship is a lot more needy than that.

Apart from the tattoos, I look like the girl next door

Then when the lights go out and the lingerie is on, I am a completely different person. The men are able to have both of those fantasies then it’s out of sight, out of mind.

They don’t have to keep me entertained. I might send a message saying, “Hi hope you’re having a good day” or send them a nude in the morning to start their day right, but I would never text and ask them what they are doing. I would never initiate a meet up because that’s more on their terms.

I can still say ‘yes’ or ‘no’ though

I’m not available 24-7. I work for the government; have a proofreading, editing and copywriting business on the side which I do very little with; study full time in a Bachelor of Fine Arts, majoring in creative and professional writing; I just finished my TESOL (Teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages) course online; and I volunteer a lot.

My work obviously takes priority and when I am at university that takes priority and I’m not going to not volunteer because I am going on a date.

RELATED:Lie women say in bed to make men happy

RELATED: Giant dating gamble that backfired

The average benefit would be $500 per visit

With one guy, it’s twice a week when he is here but he goes overseas quite often. With another guy, I see him weekly. I know other women ask for a lot more but I like the company, not just the money. I like the intimacy and flirting that comes with it as well. It’s not a constant flow of money but it’s a constant flow of dinner.

I wouldn’t recommend being a sugar baby to someone who is in it just for the money. Most of the men don’t need to pay someone to have sex with them, they are after the benefits of a relationship without the drama of a relationship.

Someone just after money will be disappointed because that’s not what it’s about for the most part.

I’ll do it until I don’t enjoy it anymore or until people get too needy

The matches only tend to end when the men get too needy. I don’t have trouble with getting attached.

My mum knows I do nude modelling but she doesn’t know I have sugar daddies. She is quite young so I don’t think she would like the idea that some are close to her age. A lot of my friends know, though. One of my close friends doesn’t like it but she is also very aware that it is my life and my body and my decision.

I think I will eventually get someone who reacts badly but it’s kind of irrelevant.

I keep safe by getting the man’s ID before we meet up for the first time. I send a photo of their driver license to a girlfriend and share my location and the address with her and we have a safe word and if I don’t text by a certain time she will start calling me.

I’ve never had to use any of that though because these men have to fill out a whole online form to have a profile on the app where we meet, and they have to pay $100 a month to be on there so they are more likely legitimate than not.

There are a lot of younger women on these apps but there are also a lot of older women as well. Some just get to a certain age and want to have sex and want to benefit from it. And why not?

I would be doing this anyway as a single woman

I would be going out and I generally date older men anyway. This is not out of the ordinary.

It’s Tinder except they want to help me financially. Although I don’t know how Tinder works, I have never been on there.

This article was originally published on Body+Soul and was reproduced with permission