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I was talking to celebrity chef Colin Fassnidge on my podcast ‘Kinda Sorta Dating’ this week and we were chatting about the best and worst first dates he has witnessed while working as a chef, because let’s face it, he’s got a front-row seat.
He was sharing some of the bonkers stories and it reminded me of a date I went on that left me shook.
Our first date I’ll admit didn’t exactly rock my world, but I decided to give him a second date because as shallow as it sounds, he was hot. I figured it was a little bit ‘meh’ because nerves had just got the better of him.
Hey, happens to the best of us. For some reason when I get nervous, I go one of two ways – either completely mute, or I talk non-stop. And whatever I’m blabbing on about will be completely rubbish, and I’ll cringe thinking about it for the next 24 hours.
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So anyway, I frocked up and skipped along to a Mexican restaurant for my second date feeling optimistic. All was going swimmingly until he brought up his most recent arrests. Yep. Arrests. As in, more than one.
Having closed the ‘bad boy’ chapter of my life, I was almost halfway out the door as soon as he said it. But let’s be honest, once someone throws into conversation that they’ve been arrested, you’re going to hang around and listen to the story. Or in this case, stories!
So I rallied the nearest waiter to kindly bring me another Margarita, and said, “Right, spill the beans, why have you been arrested multiple times?â€
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He had a little chuckle and then proceeded to tell me, first of all, about the time he “accidentally†kidnapped someone. “But like, you know, it was just a joke!†he said.
Umm … excuse me what? How do you accidentally kidnap someone? He explained that he was walking home from a fancy dress party, dressed as a commando with a fake gun and real knife, when some guy at the bus stop gave him lip.
So he “jokingly†grabbed the guy around the neck and dragged him around the corner to spook him. Which evidently worked. Then he kept walking home and a bouncer out front of a nightclub shouted something at him, so he pretended to shoot his fake gun at him. One problem though, of course, his fake gun looked like a real gun.
Oh lord.
So by the time he got home the police were waiting for him and off he went to the police station for a nice little slumber party overnight.
As I looked at him with a slightly mortified look, he chuckled and goes “yeah so that was the first timeâ€.
The second story is slightly darker and well, there’s a few question marks around exactly what happened so I’ll leave that one buried in a deep corner of my memory bank.
That date got me thinking: are there some things you really shouldn’t share on a date?
Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad he told me because it sure as heck sped up my decision on whether we should go on that third date but is there such a thing as TMI?!
Without doubt I have done some mighty dumb things in my life, but do I want to put it on a notice board and parade it about for everyone to see? No. But have I? Oh yes. And trust me, there’s nothing worse then seeing the look of shock on your date’s face went you’ve spilt the beans on something you’ve done that no longer represents who you are as a person.
So let this be a refresher for all of us singletons. Sure, you may be having a great conversation and feel comfortable to share some of your life experiences. However, some silly things we’ve done in the past should stay exactly there. In the past.
Let’s bring the best version of ourselves to the first couple of dates. I’m not saying be fake, not at all, but in a world of oversharers (myself included), perhaps we need to be a little more selective with what we share.
Jana Hocking is a podcaster and collector of kind-of-boyfriends | @jana_hocking
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