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You might have noticed that the price of bitcoin is going er, to da Earth. Over the past 24 hours it has fallen by about a third 40 per cent to just above $36,000, $34,000, $30,000 (although at this point we not only can’t keep up but also can’t even be sure because a number of price sources seem to be having issues pulling data — go figure).
In fact, the whole of the crypto space is a bit of a bloodbath, to put it frankly. That darned technoking eh. Oh and China too — they banned financial and payment institutions from providing cryptocurrency services overnight. China is NGMI.
So what you really want at at a time like this — short of another tweet from Elon which, let’s be honest, would be by far and away the best thing for creepto right now — is a compelling reason to buy it. All the better if it comes from one of the big names in the crypto world.
Enter Anthony “Pomp†Pompliano — a man who objects to being called a bitcoin bro but continues to channel the vibe of a bitcoin bro regardless:
As can be seen from the tweet, the Pomp is launching his own pizza company, Bitcoin Pizza. And to mark the 11-year anniversary of the first time someone paid for something — pizza — in bitcoin, Bitcoin Pizza will only be accepting er *checks notes* dollars.
The video doesn’t seem to be on YouTube but you can watch it on Twitter by clicking here. In case you CBA, here is a partial transcript:
What’s up guys? Bang, bang. [?!]
Everybody knows there’s two things I love more than anything else in the world: bitcoin and pizza. That’s why today, we’re announcing Bitcoin Pizza. That’s right.
What is Bitcoin Pizza? Bitcoin Pizza is a new national pizza chain that allows you to eat tasty pizza while also supporting bitcoin developers. Here’s how it works: you head to eatbitcoinpizza.com, you order the pizza that you want, you select the day and time that you want it delivered straight to your door, and a local pizzeria in your town will go ahead, they’ll make the pizza, they’ll put it in one of these awesome boxes that we’ve created, and they’ll have it delivered! Right to you, on the specified day and time.
Hold on, hold on. You can order pizza straight to your door?! In a box? This is sounding pretty disruptive. Pomp continues:
We’ll take 100% of the profits from this pilot and we’re donating it to the Human Rights Foundation Bitcoin Developers’ Fund.
That’s right when you buy bitcoin pizza what happens is you’re actually funding bitcoin development.
Well honestly thank God someone is looking after the human rights of the bitcoin developers. But what about the local pizzerias? As it turns out:
When you order pizza at eatbitcoinpizza.com not only are you getting tasty food but you’re also supporting a small business and bitcoin developers around the world.
Got it. So rather than supporting your local business by, say, ordering directly from them, this way you can actually make sure you can redirect some of their potential income into the pockets of bitcoin developers instead. One has to wonder: why didn’t anyone think of this before?
But as Pomp points out it’s all in the name of decentralisation:
Now we have to be honest, not everyone was as thrilled as us about this new non-bitcoin-accepting venture:
But whatever. Haters gon hate. Have Fun Staying Poor bro.
Honestly, if news of upcoming bitcoin-themed pizza disruption isn’t enough to shore up the prices, what will? Surely, exchanges won’t have to resort to mysteriously synchronised unplanned maintenance episodes to guard against too much capital flight?
Oh and what’s this? By the power of digital transmutation of the Northern Rock queue, at pixel time, Coinbase was down. Down as in actually not functioning we mean, though the recently-listed stock was also down about 10 per cent in pre-market trading.
Keep calm and HODL on everyone. Nothing to see here.
Related links:
When bitcoin bros* talk money-printing – FT Alphaville
When bitcoin bros* talk renewable energy – FT Alphaville
When bitcoin bros talk cryptography – FT AlphavilleÂ
When bitcoin bros talk finance – FT Alphaville
When bitcoin bros talk hard news – FT AlphavilleÂ
When bitcoin bros talk digitisation – FT Alphaville
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